Oh shit, I can totally do this. The download is only 2.4 megabytes. While it's downloading I'll play my favorite online game: Hearts. Not because it's awesome, I hate card games, or because it's even an online game, but because that's what I play when I'm online waiting for dial-fail to finish wasting my time while it finishes downloading or loading whatever the fuck I told it to.
After the download completes I click the icon and...
Updates? I can't do "updates", Microsoft. And the fact that I'm not being informed as to what they are or even their file sizes only makes we wonder what kind of bullshit they're trying to inject into my computer that I don't want or need. Microsoft blows ass.
And suddenly I think of this song:
...not because Microsoft conjures fantastic imagery in my mind through the use of emotional sound and moving lyrics, but because it's a fucking turd, a big log.
I did let the "updates" continue but it didn't matter because 45 minutes later the shit reached the half-way point and just froze there. At first I thought, "dial-up, you fail so fucking hard." But then after doing some research I discovered I'm not alone, it's a Microsoft problem as usual. They're always trying to contaminate, clutter and wreck people's bullshit with their stupid mangy bullshit. But dial-up still sucks dick.
It's pretty fucking stupid when I can download Firefox 4.0 beta and Chrome and install both browsers without having to download "updates" while Microflop can't even get their own fucking browser to install on their own OS. I even downloaded and installed Safari for fuck's sake without any grief.
Microsoft, you suck. Fire Ballmer and higher yourself a fucking tech guy who doesn't have his thumb up his ass. You do realize you have a pin-headed maniac roaming your halls telling people what to do, right?
Dude-whyyyyy do you do this to yourself?? Get Realllll internet-so you won't have to keep living a frustrating, futile existence...I think it's time to start a paypal collection man.
ReplyDeleteI have an upcoming post on that topic... Stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteSam, it's not like he WANTS to use dial-up. There are a shitload of people out there who live in areas where broadband is not available. And the damn broadband companies won't expand to those areas because they don't find it "profitable enough" to justify it. Bullshit.
ReplyDeleteSatellite is an alternative, but it sucks just as badly as dial-up, just in different ways. You pay $80 a month for a measly 150KBps download speed, and you can only downstream like 7GB a month and they'll slow you to dial-up speeds if you exceed that. Again, bullshit.